I applied for my first Kiwi passport.

Pretty straight-forward, you fill out the form, provide them with various numbers and details they ask for, and give them a recent passport photo.

I uploaded my most recent one which is from July 2024, I believe, so pretty new, that was taken professionally and that I’ve already used once officially, for my citizenship application, granted as of August 26, wee!

The form asked me to upload my photo as a file, then wanted a digital ID video via my web cam. Sure thing!

Quite a funny procedure: the web cam turns itself on, bright lights start flashing about, which is really odd when you’re (basically) blind like me without glasses; I sure couldn’t see much of it, just sort of flashing and then a message:

“ERROR PLEASE TRY AGAIN!”

Okay, try again! Flash flash, processing, DUN DUN DUN! Error, please try again!

Annoying, try again! Flash flash, processing, DUN DUN DUN! “Too many attempts to ID yourself, you’re now blocked from IDing yourself.” Jeez.

Finished my application, and figured that if they want to ID me, I’ll just have to go see them in person so they can see my immaculate beauty irl. Fine!

Not foward-facing enough

The next day, I got an email from the DIA with the gist that my passport photo was unusable, the reason being it wasn’t “forward-facing”

The photo in question:

I mean… Do I love the photo? GUESS! It’s obviously me, I suppose, it’s what they wanted, this is what they got. Thug lyf.

I ran it through a number of passport photo checkers online and you’ll be delighted to know it would pass in most English-speaking countries as well as the germanophone regions. Cool.

“Kia ora, [DIA case worker], just checking in, in response to your email, I’ve once more attached my photo in the hope you’d reconsider it, seeing it was taken by a professional and worked for you a few weeks ago for my citizenship application. Also, your online ID corner is glitching.”

*tumbleweed*

Eventually, an email from another DIA human. The gist:

“Please ignore our previous email, it was sent in error, your photo is fine!”

Is it though? Is it?

On a happy note, it’s all rolling now! And for the next ten years, someone will look at that photo to see if I’m really me. It cracks me up!